Purpose

Day 0.2

Nine months and counting

Grade: Kindergarten

            I will homeschool my son, Elijah. We will be in kindergarten together, I as the teacher, dutiful and strong, and he as the student, willful and boundless. I have come to this juncture in my life being pushed. I was pushed out of home ownership when our finances went belly-up.  Little income meant little spending. Among a list of extras in life to go, the XM satellite radio, cable at times, and frequent jaunts to Starbucks, I had to say goodbye to my son’s private Christian preschool. The mere two days a week he attended was going to be financial suicide in the fall if we did not cut the bill this spring.

            I hated to see school on the chopping block, yet I knew my family needed the slash. I applied for Head Start and state run preschool to be turned away! We made too much money per month. And then I was stuck but only for a fleeting moment. My husband, Nathaniel, had been a constant buzz in my ear for four years to homeschool. I always shooed the buzz away and tucked a minuscule amount of the idea under my belt, I suppose to ponder over at some far off later date yet to be pinpointed.

            Well up-cap the Sharpie and pinpoint that date on the calendar because this summer was when the time came to talk about it more seriously. I have my B.A. in Liberal Studies, I am ready to teach elementary school and I already teach in the adult school system, but stay at home and teach my four year old? I held fast to my argument that Eli would not listen to me as his teacher, I barely pass muster with him listening to me as his mom. I realized I refused to allow a whole year go by without any formal education for him, especially since he had already been at school, I did not want him to be behind educationally or socially. However, I continued to hold onto my fears and as scared as I was to jump into homeschool I felt the desire start to trickle in. I felt myself step aside and allowed God to take over.

            Making the decision to listen to God and my husband opened my eyes to my reality, I was always going to homeschool I just didn’t know it yet. My purpose this year is to learn who I am in Christ, because He is who I follow. I will teach my son and learn to give my worry, my strife, and my brick walls to God.